Diane's Everyday3

Faith, hope, depression, Jesus, Love, grateful, Family, hope, appreciation

The Renewing of my Soul September 6, 2014

My soul is in a state of renewing. Constant reminders to train my eyes on Jesus. He is with me at all times yet I neglect to confer with him when I make decisions. How do I train my human mind to stop, think, consider all consequences and simply “rest” before jumping the gun and doing ANYTHING? It could be something simple like sending a text or something major like going back to school. When I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, God sent the Holy Spirit to live inside me. With that gift of love from my Lord, I was given the assignment of listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Why then do I elect to take actions that create negative consequences? This reminds me of something Paul wrote, Romans 7:15 “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” When God created us, he gave us free will. He sings in heaven when we choose to do right. We grieve Him and the Holy Spirit when we disobey His Word and sin. These actions can be as seemingly mundane as making a negative remark about our boss to a coworker or as catastrophic as being dishonest to our spouce. Big or small, each is based on a single decision.

As God renews my soul, I am praying He shows me how to consult Him continually, to pray unceasingly. Do I put a rubber band around my wrist and snap myself each time I forget to ask for divine guidance? Or maybe I carry a tally and give myself a hash mark for every time I do pray before making decisions. Then reward myself when I pass a predetermined goal. The bible tells us God spoke to Elijah in a “still small voice.” He wanted Elijah to see him God in everyday things. He wanted Elijah to understand He was not just the God of storms, of earthquakes, or of fire (1Kings 19:11-13). So many times I hear His still small voice and I choose not to listen. The promptings of the Holy Spirit are subtle, still, small… The radio show may be provocative or emotionally charged yet I listen. The comment I want to make to my husband is sarcastic yet I choose to make the comment. I hear coworkers gossiping and I can walk away. But I add a negative remark. All are seeds the enemy plants throughout my day to keep me from listening to the Holy Spirit, God’s “still small voice.” Guess I better stop waiting for God to shout at me like I’m a misbehaving toddler. That’s not how my God works. He know I know right from wrong. He knows I am capable of making right choices. He knows my heart. And when I choose wrong it hurts my heart and it hurts God’s heart. I want to make God sing in heaven. I don’t want to grieve Him.

Thank you, Father, for having the Holy Spirit live inside me to guide me. He intervenes for me when I pray to you. He comforts me when I’m anxious or sad. As I go through this sanctification process, or the renewing of my soul, I pray you will be patient with me. You are a God of a million chances. You are tolerant and forgiving. You are loving and kind. You are the father I didn’t have on this earth to teach me right from wrong. You discipline when I misbehave. Sometimes it is gentle reminders. Other times you convict me with more stern reminders. You gave us your Word to guide us through this temptation filled, fallen world. The more I study your Word, the more I am amazed by its simplicity and complexity (Psalm 119:105). If I choose to live by your commandments I will live in the light and be happy and contented. If I live my life with overflowing gratitude more blessings will come my way. Thank You for being my Savior. To You be the glory. This is my Good-Night prayer.

 

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The Word of God – The most effective therapist yet! February 26, 2013

Filed under: Christianity,Faith,Jesus Christ — Diane Turk Rogers @ 3:32 pm
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Over the last six or so years I’ve been through lots of therapy for depression.  Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) seems to work the best for me.  In a nutshell, it helps you learn how to reframe negative thoughts that you’ve lived by your whole life.  In the past three or so years I’ve been growing closer and closer to Jesus Christ and part of developing that relationship has been through reading my bible regularly.  It’s amazing how much of what I’ve learned through CBT is covered in the bible.  The more I thought about it, I realize everyone’s trying to figure out how to deal with stress, anxiety, insecurity, depression, grief, shame, jealousy, guilt… and it’s all right there in the Word of God.  I’m even thinking about writing a book about it!

Here are some examples.  Matthew 6:34 tells us not to worry.  “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  And so does Matthew 6:27 “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”  And when I went through a particularly miserable time of guilt and shame, if I had just known there are so many scriptures I could have read to comfort me.  Like Romans 8:1-2, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set youfree from the law of sin and death.”  This scripture is a great comfort to me.  It reassured me I am forgiven and shall be free of guilt and shame.

From simple life lessons like not judging others (Luke 6:37) to something as complex as severe depression (Psalm 34:18 & 46:1) there are stories, sermons and parables throughout the entire bible to help make sense of it all.  The parallels of the bible’s teachings to those of Cognitive Therapy are unmistakable.  God knew what he was doing when he gave us His Word to guide us through this life.  If we would just use it and trust it we would could avoid a lot of pitfalls we experience.

Please don’t think I’m taking the issue of depression lightly.  I strongly support psychotherapy.  The time I spent with my therapist is invaluable to my recovery from depression.  Combining what I’ve learned through therapy with the teachings of the Holy Bible has made a huge impact on my life.  My therapy validates what’s been in the bible for all time and the bible validates everything I learned in therapy.  So many people are searching…  Searching for hope… Searching for acceptance…  Searching for love…  Searching for peace.  It’s all there in the bible.  I pray if you are searching, you take time to read the bible and see all it has to offer.  Seek counsel from others too.  But if you just give the bible a try, I know you’ll be astounded by what you find inside.

 

Revealing my big secret… October 28, 2012

When I started this blog I wanted to be an outlet for me.  Writing has always been a stress reliever.  It is also my way of supporting those who suffer with depression, anxiety, panic disorder, addiction, etc.  Sometimes all a person needs is to know is they are not alone or crazy!  I’ve been there.  Realizing others experience similar feelings & symptoms gave me validation.  It was a little glimmer of light at the end of a dark, dark tunnel.

A big part of what brings on depression for me is pretending everything is “fine” when I really feel like crap.  Agreeing when I really don’t.  Saying “yes” when I really want to say “no.”  Over 40 years of that took its toll in October of 2006 when I suffered a breakdown, or medically speaking, a major depressive episode.  A combination of suppressed feelings, not setting personal boundaries, guilt and shame plus a family history of depression set the perfect stage for depression in my life.

Now comes the big secret.  I had an abortion when I was 21 yeas old.  I recently decided to tell my brothers and sisters.  It’s hard to believe I’ve kept this secret for nearly 30 years.  As I suspected, they all love me just the same as they did before I told them.  Many of my nieces and nephews know now.  My heart aches thinking they might be disappointed in me.  After all, I was the perfect child.  I have an image to keep up.

God forgave me the moment I asked His forgiveness.  All the years I tortured myself with guilt and shame, I was dishonoring Him.  Jesus Chris suffered and died on a cross for my salvation.  Would I change my decision if I had the opportunity.  You bet I would.  I would give up everything I have in my life right now if I would take back that one awful decision of ending my pregnancy.  More work is needed to complete my healing process.

I am writing this particular post to help anyone who has a secret they think will destroy them if it is revealed.  I’m not saying you have to reveal it.  I’m saying you have to move on from that secret!  It does not define you.  Just like your mental affliction or addiction does not define you.  It is a part of you, yes.  But it is not the ONLY part of you.  Find hope and meaning in other areas of your life.

Revealing my secret has given me a sense of peace.  I’m looking forward to learning more about what the bible teaches about forgiveness.  My hope and prayer is that this story helps just one person in some small way.  My blessings are many.  I want to pass them on to anyone who will listen.

 

Thank You Lord January 19, 2010

Filed under: 1 — Diane Turk Rogers @ 12:52 pm
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I have to post this today. I feel like my fingers can’t type fast enough.

I am so thankful that I know my Lord and Savior. If you’re not one for religion, you are probably going to stop reading if you haven’t already… But you must still be reading.

I was lucky enough to meet Jesus at a very young age thanks to my next door neighbors. God bless them. They took me to church with them every Sunday. Even when I moved away, they drove by my house to pick me up! Wow. I love them for that. I got to go to potlucks, camps, and other fun Christian activities.

Through the years I have drifted away from the Lord but I always come back to Him. I know in my heart and soul that Jesus is my Lord, he died on the cross for my sins and that he is perfect in every way. His Holy Spirit resides in me and guides me.

I’m still such a baby in Christ. I have to be reminded all the time to pray. To talk to God. To listen for His guidance and support. If you are not a Christian, I am here to tell you there is hope. There is a bright light. There is a warmth that will envelope you when your are scared and alone. It’s the love of our Father. And you get three for one… God the Father, his Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. When I get confused if I should be saying “God” or “Jesus” in speaking about them, I know either will do. They’re one in the same.

I guess my purpose for writing this is to send a message for anyone out there who is feeling alone, scared, hopeless, sad, depressed or any of those types of feelings, you always have a friend in Jesus Christ. I know that sounds cliche, but He will never leave you. He will only love you. Pick up a bible if you can and try just opening it and reading it a little. Psalms and Proverbs were good places for me to start.

In the last couple days I’ve seen some pretty neat things happen in the lives of those I love and in my own life. I feel compelled to share my hope and joy. I feel like dancing and singing right now. And I want others to feel that joy too!! I believe with all my heart that I am at this place because of my Lord and Savior. You can be here too! It’s fun!!!!!!!!