It’s been a while since my last post. Not really sure why. Life has been happening so fast. I’m in some sort of transition state in my heart and soul and God is dealing with me and I’m trying to listen and understand. It’s hard to figure out what I’m supposed to do and what I’m supposed to leave up to him. I’ve accepted that he’s not going to shout in my ear, “Hey, Diane. I think it’s time to go back to college,” or “Miss Diane. Go out and tell your story to everyone you can and I promise they’ll love and accept you and not judge you.” This idea of “let go, and let God” is really hard to grasp. (I really was waiting to hear Him shout out to me…)
So, I’ve finally figured out my part is to pray and read the bible. Then pray and read the bible some more. God will give me the wisdom to see what he has planned for me. He will put me on the right path. I truly believe I am right where he planned for me to be when he was creating me in my mom’s womb.
Finally I am in a bible study of Godly women who have the same goal in mind as I do… to know God, be more like Christ, and fulfill God’s calling in their lives. I am growing to love these women so much. God blessed me with these women because I was praying about it and reading my bible and learned how much God loves his children to fellowship together. Wow! That’s deep, to me. I’m now almost 50, have been saved since I was about 13 and I’m just now realizing I have to pray, read the Word, spend time with God and ask the Holy Spirit to guide me.
I’ve learned through my depression, recovery, and the devil’s attempt at relapse that this life is not easy but it is doable. As long as I don’t let the bad stuff “define me or take over me” I will get past them. And once I do, I will be that much stronger for the next challenge that comes my way. Take that, satan!!!
The subject of our winter bible study has been “Finish Strong.” And our memory verse last week was Acts 20:24 – “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the good Lord Jesus has given to me. The task of testifying to the gospel of God’s Grace.” That is Paul speaking. He helps me realize the magnitude of God sending his one and only Son to come to earth and die on a cross to wash MY sins away completely. Thank you God. I praise you for loving me.
So, I’ll keep praying and reading God’s word. I’ll keep working toward being more like Christ. The answers and direction will come. I know they will, in His time.