Now that I’m 50, I should know what my purpose is in this life, right? So much time wondering, praying, hoping, and I still haven’t heard God’s thundering voice telling me, “Diane, here is what I want you to do and here is how I want you to do it…”
God sent me two clear messages recently. The crux of both messages was that my heart must be sincere in every action I take. The first message came when I was reading my Jesus Calling devotional one morning. The night before while I was saying my prayers I wondered, “Does God want me to say my prayers out loud or is it alright that I say them in my head?” The next morning’s devotion answered my question. It said if I pray with a sincere heart, God will hear me whether I” pray silently or shout it out loud.” I had to read it twice because I couldn’t believe God’s answer came so plainly.
A few days later I received the second message from God by way of an email from Dusty, a special pal I met online. For the past several months I’ve been praying about what my purpose is in this life. What does God have planned for me? How do I know what he wants me to do? I sent an email to Dusty asking her to pray for me about it and here is her response;
“You’ll be in my prayers girl…..and for what it’s worth? This is what I’ve learned…
I used to stress too, about where God wanted me and what He wanted me to do
and what was His will for me in my life…..then one day, I heard His answer as
plain as day: He said He would love me no matter what I decided to do or where
….as long as my heart was sincere in wanting to do HIS work….then anyplace, any
decision would please Him and He would bless what I chose to do! We will keep
you in prayer! Remember that God is in control and don’t sweat the small stuff!!
Love you!! “
Again, a clear message from Heaven! Thank you, Miss Dusty! Now comes the test… Is my heart sincere? I’m writing to tell you about my heart-checks to see just how sincere my heart is in my everyday life.
The first area I thought about was my marriage. Wow. There’s an eye opener. My husband is my partner in life. He is my best friend in good and bad times. He has been my biggest fan. If that’s so, why am I so impatient with him? Why am I defensive and sure he’s attacking me all the time? Why do I harbor past hurts? God’s wish for my marriage is that it is a place of safety and peace. If my heart is sincere in wanting to create harmony with my husband, I have to work at it. I have to submit. There, I said it. Why is that such a hard thing for wives to accept? My husband is the leader of our family. He is our protector. He is our provider. I am in a very safe place in my life because of the plans and decisions he has made for us over the last 25-plus years. I think I can trust in and submit to that, with a sincere and loving heart.
Next, I did a heart check on my relationship with my stepchildren and grandchildren. Is it with a sincere heart when I offer to help with the kids… make dinner… stop by after work…? Are my intensions to gain acceptance or praise? God’s wish in this area is that I accept my position in the family as step-mother with grace and loving kindness. Accepting my role with a sincere heart means not putting demands on the kids to treat me in a certain way. It also means when I buy surprises for them and when I call to check on the kids or other acts of kindness I am doing so with a sincere heart of love and not to gain favor. Thinking about this deeply, I realized I always start with a sincere heart then the enemy sneaks into my thoughts and says, “This is such a nice thing you’re doing, they’re probably going to think you’re really cool,” or “Why do you do these things, you’re never going to gain the place in their hearts where you want to be…” I always have to go back to my original intention and get that devil out of my head!! My silent prayer with each kind deed is, “God, please keep my intentions pure and the enemy’s voice from tainting my thoughts.” Someday it will be automatic “not” to think negatively about my good deeds.
The place I spend the most time beside home is work. This is a big time heart-sincerity check for me. It’s so easy to get caught up in so many negative things at work. Heart check questions; How am I treating my boss and co-workers? What kind of attitude am I showing my clients? A sincere heart is not one of complaining or gossiping. Nor is a sincere heart one of impatience and rudeness. I must remember, two years ago when I needed a job so desperately and the one I am at now just fell into my lap. The timing couldn’t have been better. I thanked God for the answered prayers. But before long, I was mired down by complaining, gossiping, undermining my boss and being rude and short with clients. The attitude I was displaying was one of ingratitude, entitlement and selfishness. Sowing that kind of negativity will only reap anger and hostility from others. My heart ached for a change. Now when I feel the attitude of the enemy coming over me, I remind myself that my heart wants to be kind and show grace. A Christ-like attitude is my goal. If I stumble, I recover much quicker now and those around me suffer a lot less too. Amen for that!
As my relationship with God grows, so does my thirst for knowledge and understanding. The Word of God is my first reference point. He speaks to me as I read and study. He speaks to me when I’m listening to sermons on the radio and at church. He speaks to me via fellow Christians. My job is to be still and listen for His promptings. He is sincere even though I may not hear a thundering voice when he sends me a message. Through His word and through my good friend, He told me to do a sincerity heart-check and doing so has bless me and those around me. Thank you, Lord! I learned a lot.